Few years ago, when I met the beggars on the street or in the subway, I will always gave them a few Kuai. But gradually, since I noticed there are more and more of them in the subway, and realized most of them are swindlers, I began to force myself to ignore their begging. When they put their begging bag in front of my eyes, I choose to avoid their gaze. This one minute cruel trades for the following few minutes guilty. Though I already knew these are no more than some unskilled deceptions, I still felt uncomfortable about the leaving-behind. I know this is not because I am a cold-blood.

 

I remembered there was a blind guy always sitting at the exit of subway Line 2 Xizhimen station, playing a Chinese fiddle and singing some loneliness songs. This scene did not fit for the busy footsteps around at all, but whenever I passed him, even I won't give him money, I would always be touched and admired him in my deep heart. His behavior was not to beg, but was a kind of performing. At that moment, I believe what he concerned was definitly not how much money people put into the pot.  

 

So, my heart is still warm. It's just because I can analyse the whole thing more rational and objective. Why I have to give my money to some without self-esteem? Some of the beggars are really really poor and pathetic, but, is this the only way for them to survive? Why not to do something meaningful. At least, earn some respect from others.